I’m pretty impervious to most things. Make fun of me or insult me? Whatever. Punch me in the face? Eh, it’s hurts but I’m not too beat up over it. Set off a series of loud sudden mini bombs and have them crackle and bang for what seems like hours after? Murderous rage. A lot about this country confuses me but nothing makes me want to take a knee more than Americas obsession with supercharged candles that spit fiery colors. Why does every event in the American summer have to conclude with them? This holiday, July 4th, is the perfect holiday. No matter what day it falls on, it’s an excuse to start drinking at 10am, eat hot dogs and burgers all day long and dress up in red white and blue. I participate in nothing patriotic ever, and every year on this one day I’ll ‘MERICA it up with the rest of you. It’s a truly amazing day. But FUCK whoever decided to ruin it by having it also be an excuse to blow up everything. Are we not in year 17 of a war with the sole purpose of stoping things from blowing up? If we truly want to “Make America Great” let’s do ourselves a favor and save our hands and fingers from being blown up, stick to bud lights and hot dogs, blast some Springsteen and enjoy one of the years great days without any heart attack inducing explosions.
Published by The O Show
The O Show is a podcast brought to you by struggling comedian Owen Finnegan, along with special guests who are just his friends who he feels like talking to on that given day. He and his guests (attempt to) bring unique and humorous perspectives on life, love, sports and anything else that may come to mind. View all posts by The O Show